Thoughts

December 2017

Sad
Calm before the storm
Over
Empty
But no fear
Expecting
There will be a climax
Hotter, feel the heat
The misery of it all
What is the use
Can it be
Why me?
Desire is strong
Almost too strong
Will we meet again?

There is hope
There is a chance
We will rise again
Our love cannot die
We must have faith
We must believe
Even if we cannot see

There is always a chance
Again, and again
Always and forever
We shall never part
The cheers of the crowd
It is an idea
It is bigger than all of us

It is glorious
It is glories
It is inspiring
I would give my life for it
Maybe I already have
I would do it again
It drives men mad
Till we meet again
Be with me always
I will always be with you
Forever in this world or in what comes next

What we do today will be remembered for all time
The Gods will judge us not on what we say but what we do
We are alive and will continue
As I sleep I will not weep
I will not weep for me
I will not weep you
There will come a time
That we dreamed of when we were young
Even though those dreams were long ago
The theme is always there
If we dare to hope, if we dare to live
The emotions that we feel are very real

I will come for you
In this moment I realize the power that I have inside of me
Make no mistake for I realize the power is with you and me.

But could it just be over, that we be so sad, so bad
It is amazing how I feel
What is so important about all of this
Is it earth shattering, is it a big deal
It is the biggest deal of them all
For what I feel is what I am
And what I am is all there is
It is all I want to be
Carolyn, Carolyn, Carolyn
You make me smile, you make feel that everything around me is real
Love is epic, my love for you will not be tamed, will not die or go up in flames

As I know that life is hard
But only for those who do not live it everyday
I am now at peace as I have said it loud and said it low
I have said it for everyone to know
I know myself but not what to expect
And if you do not feel the same way
It will not change the way I feel

---

Geisterstunde – Mark Twain

July 2017

Warum reden wir Deutsche? Wo hier kommt die Deustche Sprache?  Es ist so schwer und so schreckliche.  It really upsets me.

Jedesmal wan man glaubt das man Deutsche im griff haben den stoss man auf ein anderer regel wo alles in der luft schmeist.   Es gibt mehr Ausnahmen fur regel wie regel selber.

Personal pronoun und adjective sind auch ein riesig problem. Das wort sie bedeutet “you” und auch “she” und auch “her” und auch “them”. How in the hell are you supposed to learn all this?

Und dann haben wir der, die und das und munchmal den.  Was?  Warum koennen die Deutchen nicht einfach “the” sagen?  Es werde alles viel einfacher machen.

Und Verb spalten gibt nur in Deutchland.  “I lost my heart in Heidelberg” aber Ich glaube das es ist zeit von Deutchland zu gehen und zurrueck in der heimat wo alles sehr viel einfacher ist.

---

The Show

August 2016

It was hot, almost as hot as the tits on the Mexican whore lying beside you.  Beads of sweat rolled down her rather large breasts like tiny pearls.

You look up at the ceiling fan as it whirls rapidly in a losing battle against the stifling heat.  You wonder how you got here, it seems not so long ago you were in fancy air-conditioned hotel rooms with not a care in the world.  Then you were in the Show.  Playing in front of thousands during the day or the early evening and drinking only the best champagne late at night.

What are you doing in this dirty Mexican town, playing your way slowly down deeper in the Minor leagues?  Was it the booze or was it the pills?  Probably both.  But your knees ache before, after and during the game.  You must do something to numb the pain.  You had torn up your right knee early in your career and it has bothered you ever since.

Are just hanging around for a pay check? You ask.   Not much else you can do.  The glory days in front of tens of thousands of screaming fans are gone, long gone.  You wonder if you would do anything differently if given the chance.  Take better care of your body, eat right?  Drink and party less?  Probably not.  You have no regrets, it was great while it lasted.  You wish that maybe you had kept more of the money all you have left is the memories.  Now you are just playing out the string, hoping that you stay healthy enough to keep going.  Hoping that you get up on time to catch the bus for tomorrow’s game.

Yeh, it’s different now.  But as you look down at the beautiful women laying next you, as she stirs lightly against your loins, you realize it is not so bad after all.  It’s not the show anymore but it is still the game.

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